When Do We Stand for Love?

Our roadside banner claims WE STAND FOR LOVE. This gives us the opportunity to be welcoming and open. We constantly meet to affirm our beliefs, and to connect with others who support our causes, vote as we do, and speak in ways we find reasonable. The greater test arises when we encounter someone whose opinions anger, disappoint, or even offend us. Do we still recognize that person’s humanity? Can we challenge the opinion that what we believe is wrong without denying the dignity of the person who holds that belief? Can we listen long enough to understand—not necessarily to agree, but to discover the experiences, fears, or unmet needs beneath the disagreement?

Loving those with whom we disagree does not mean remaining silent in the face of injustice, tolerating abuse, abandoning our principles, or pretending that every position is equally valid. Love sometimes requires firm boundaries, honest opposition, and courageous action. Yet even as we resist harmful conduct or words, love also asks us not to surrender to contempt, humiliation, or hatred.

Meaningful modest practices to begin this could be: asking a sincere question before making an assumption; separating a person’s worth from a position they hold; acknowledging whatever truth may exist in another perspective; reflecting on the historical conditioning that has led to their way of being, considering and identifying a concern that we both share. Before dismissing someone, we might quietly ask: What would love require of me in this moment? The answer may be patience. It may be truthfulness. It may be a boundary, an invitation, an apology, or simply a willingness to see the humanity in someone whom we had begun to judge as being unintelligent, lacking judgement
or crazy.

If our love extends only to those who think as we do, how do we differ from others whose love is limited only to those who think as they do? The truest demonstration of standing for love is the difficult work of loving those with whom we disagree—standing firmly for our values while leaving open a path toward understanding, dignity, and reconciliation.

Let’s challenge ourselves and think of one person or group with whom we do not agree. Let’s take one genuine step—not necessarily toward agreement, but toward trying to understand them. In doing so, we may discover whether we merely proclaim to stand for love or have the courage to live it.
–Markly Wilson